Oi! Can one exist in a state of manic lethargy? I'm not sure how else to describe life of late. Struggling with depression and the lassitude that comes with MS in a world steeped with deadlines, school meetings, homework, housework, tantrums, and holidays. The last week has been additionally trying due to problems with procuring my narcolepsy drugs from my mail order pharmacy. I really think they have based their customer service model on Time Warner's less than stellar despotic practices.
At work I have moved beyond an intensely involved interior drop (of my own design so I only have myself to blame)
into a world of trees and forthcoming stone.
The colder weather is upon us (we even had our first dusting of snow) and it became imperative to pull out the winter work socks.
The winter work socks of which not a one is fully intact. I must needs ramp up sock knitting production if my toes are not to freeze and fall off this winter. I am still searching for a yarn that meets my needs of durable, warm and inexpensive...the last being necessary due to the number of socks needed and the fact that they will end up with paint on them. The Knitmore Girls have planted the idea seed of a sock machine in my little holy brain. I will be watching Jasmine's adventures with her machine with great interest. Especially since Little Miss has great issues with sock toe seams, and I can't seem to knit her tube socks fast enough.
The lack of sock knitting is partially due to babies being born all around me. There were two that I felt inclined to gift with knitting. One I managed to finish before the birth (by 2 days!) and the other not so much.
The first was for Little Dude's kindergarten teacher from last year. We gifted her the sweater just last Monday for her new little girl. My minions picked out the yarn from options in my stash and helped pick out the buttons as well.
The pattern is Harvey Kimono from Natural Knits for Babies and Moms by Louisa Harding. Yarn Moda Dea Washable Wool (now discontinued) in Raspberry. The teacher was amazed when I told her it was machine washable. I never gift baby items that aren't machine washable. I know how much time and mental bandwidth an infant requires and would never willingly add to it with hand-washing.
The second sweater is the boy's version of the above sweater for a nurse at the MS Center. This one is knit out of Bernat Organic Cotton, also discontinued. This one is nearly done. It hit a snag or two along the way. Last night I discovered the greatest of them. Apparently I somehow missed two rows of the border on the front and didn't catch it until I was seaming the piece last night. How I didn't catch it while blocking should attest to my mental state of late. If I hadn't already picked up and knit the neckline border, I would have just re-knit the whole front. Instead I knit a new border, picked back the offending front edge and will graft the two together. Hopefully this evening.
The minions' school work has become a larger part of our lives lately. Little Dude is only in first grade and homework expectations at times seem a bit much. He is to do 20 to 30 minutes of reading a night, in addition to math work on the computer. One of his math programs is only 10 minutes a night. The second can take much longer. I was glad when his teacher clarified that out of the two, she would rather they do the first every night and the second when they can. But when you consider that we often don't get home until 6pm or later, and then have dinner and a shower/bath (as needed) trying to get to bed at 8pm is quite the task. Especially on the nights my Geek-boy is working late. Throw in Little Miss either being clingy, throwing tantrums, or both and you've got yourself a full evening.
Dishes are no longer a priority in my book.
And I am desperately in need of a new repertoire of weeknight meals that are fast and varied. I feel like we eat the same six meals all the time. I know the Geek-boy and I used to have a whole variety of dishes that we cooked. I'll be damned if I can think of any of them though. Then when you add in his burgeoning acid reflux, I am limited further.
I feel like I just need to take a few days off to set the stage for things to run a little smoother. Some alone time to clean and set the house. Time to reconfigure the pantry and freezer and to prep some meals. It just constantly feels like I am running two steps behind at all times.
And now the holidays are upon us. *sigh*
Well, after reading over that no wonder I've been depressed. For some reason this week feels like a turning point, as if it were a new month or a new period of time. I am hopeful that I can pull it all together the days and weeks ahead. As I have been withdrawing further and further into myself and pulling away from nearly all activity and social interaction, I am beginning to realize how much my art and crafting mean to me and my well being. I am trying to carve out time in all of the chaos, even if it is a half hour of knitting before bed, or drawing on my lunch break. Just a little oasis here and there to try and retain a little of my sanity. To hold onto a little of myself. I feel as if I can do that, I will benefit enough to gain some footing that will allow room for a little more.
Let us hope I am successful.