inconclusively frustrating...

so it seems (love's test results didn't get to the doctor yet.) that it is 'unexplained infertility'. Depending on the results of his test, we are recommended to further testing with a specialist. So a lot of "who knows". The frustrating thing is that I'm sure the stress from work is the problem in this situation but I'm in a catch 22...I need to leave work to be able to conceive but I need the health insurance my job offers to have a baby. So I'm stuck.

And I feel like crap...I've had my period all weekend but now I'm very woozy and not walking straight (well less than normal) I'm gonna park it on the couch for the rest of the afternoon. The cats have the right idea.

conflicted of sorts

Tomorrow morning we go to the doctor to get the results of all the in/fertility testing. I've not thought much about it until this afternoon...and right now I'm not sure what I think at all.

A little bit of everything...

I've been trying to blog since I've gotten back but love has been hogging the computer...he's now level 20 and trying to earn his cape. *sigh* I love my geek-boy. So here's the ultimate update post...

• Florida was lovely excluding the getting there and getting back (see below). Grandpa is doing much better and it was so nice to spend time with them. They really made me feel part of the family, which is a feeling I rarely have with his family. Not that they intend to make me feel that way (or most of them don't) but it's a very different dynamic than my family and I feel very foreign in it. But the weather was horribly beautiful, horrible in that it gave me an intense desire to dig in the dirt and I came home to more snow and slush. Not quite gardening weather here.
  
• I have a new airline to add to the list of ones to avoid. US Airways. Leaving here it started to snow once we got to the airport, where we promptly headed to the bar. Boarded our plane on time...and then sat. and sat and sat. Apparently it took them so long to load our luggage that it became necessary for us to deice. For which there was a line, of course. We sat in that tin can for an hour or so before we took off. This cut into our hour layover in Charlotte. Our second flight was to leave at 9:40pm...we landed at 9:55...in a completely different concourse. So the two of us, and another poor soul from our flight, had to full out sprint from one concourse to another, me in clogs. About halfway there I started having an asthma attack. (not officially diagnosed with because my doctor is a putz) Normally I stop running when this starts...couldn't here. By the time we got to our plane I was on the verge of collapse while breathing hot coals. As soon as we got on they shut the door and off we went. On the return we flew to Philly no problem. As it was getting closer to boarding time for our connecting flight we noticed that there still was no plane...at any of the gates. It seems they were having a difficult time getting anywhere that day. The flight before ours (going the same way) had been canceled, which made ours overbooked. Our plane apparently was having issues so they had to go get another one out of the hanger for our flight. Upon return I had enough time to shower, change, eat and head off to close the store in what was my third week of the night shift from hell. *sigh* People wonder why I hate flying.
  
• While in Florida we did finally have our audit. We passed...barely...and we lost some points that we shouldn't have. Work still sucks and I'm losing my patience with it. I have a much shorter fuse while I am there, but then I shouldn't have to be telling them the same things for the last 5 months.
  
• Mr. Gothknits' birthday was quite nice. I took him out for a lovely dinner at one of our favorite restaurants and then to a movie. I am so glad we saw this in the theatre. It was stunning and beautiful and visually lyrical. I love to analyze comic book to movie transitions and I thoroughly enjoy the ones that really play with the comic book style. I won't ramble any further about this but...go see it.
  
• The shawl is done and photographed and wrapped...all I need to do is mail it .
  
• The rest of my "finish it" list goes like this...
• joining blanket squares- on the last one!
  
• mending pile-haven't touched it.
  
• sanding, staining, and sealing a dresser - waiting on love to finish repairs
  
• repairing my WonderWoman purse- might tackle tonight...not sure how to do it though.
  
• repairing my Mum's big black tote bag- once I'm done here.

It's spring and that always give me the urge to pull out the sewing machine (don't know why). I'm going to fix the tote and sew the Princess Leia pads. I might dig through the mending as well to see what there is. I know I need help with some of it. I might toss together a few more nine patch squares for the quilt that is destine for the Apple Room. I guess that's all for now. Pics of the shawl on another post. I want to get some sewing in before I make dinner...Feta and spinach stuffed Tilapia with sweet potatoes.

Happy Birthday My Love!

Back...

I'm back home...and totally pissed off from a mere 4.5 hours at work. Grandpa is doing better and I have some more travel horror stories for you...but after I get to sleep in my own bed.

Introducing someone new...

Congratulations Amy and Wayne!

FYI

Just giving a heads up. We're off on a short jaunt to Florida. Love's granddad isn't doing too well and he wants to see all of the family. I'm not likely to post while down there. Behave while I am gone and don't do anything that I would.


PS I did block the shawl...it looks lovely. Pics sometime soon

Home sweet home

I was sent home early from work due to the snow. At least it wasn't for setting fires or punching customers. I'm saving that for some other day.

My plan is to make chili, watch movies, join squares, drink whiskey sours, and tend the fire in the fireplace. I'll probably block the shawl too. I hope everyone is warm and happy.

Not so idle

I had every intention of blocking the shawl today before work. I found this on the blocking surface instead. I'll do it after work tonight when the prime sleeping spot is our bed.

I have been busy with projects since finishing the shawl. Most of my time has been doing housework...cleaning, filling the new pantry, cooking, grocery shopping. But in my restful periods have been occupied with my quest to complete existing projects. The shawl now finished (knitting part at least) and the table and chairs. Now on to the squares...

These squares were crocheted by Robyne's late Grandmother. This 95 year old woman was a crocheting machine. I've complete 5 blankets in the last week. I have 5 maybe 6 left in the pile you see. Loki is not too happy about this project because it takes up my lap. So she will sit on each blanket after it is done (or before) to let it know who is boss.

I've given myself until April 1st to finish these projects that have been hanging around for a while. The list also includes my mending pile, sanding, staining, and sealing a dresser (once my love has finished readying it), repairing my WonderWoman purse, repairing my Mum's big black tote bag and possibly something else I am forgetting.

Then on with the selfish knitting.

Memos from the Universe

Every now and then something happens and you just know the Universe is telling you something. I got one of those memos this afternoon. Doing laundry I discovered a new and disconcerting sound coming from my washing machine. Mind you the fridge and the washer are in a neck and neck race to the finish. Anywho...I stop the spin cycle and restart and the noise stops...until the next load. Then I grab the bras I pulled out to hang them to dry. One is missing its underwire. Now I know what the sound is. I find the wire just barely poking through one of the holes in the basin. Neither pleading, swearing or needle nose pliers could extract it. But they were able to push it in further. At least its not making the horrible noise anymore. I'm going to go make some cookies to soften the blow of this event to my love, which I will disclose right before I run out the door to Stitch n Bitch.

Oh yeah...Memo from the Universe: BUY NEW BRAS!

Lightbulb moment

Everyone mentions yoga. I would love to get back into it. I'm just lacking a good space to since my usual spot is overrun by freeloading kittens and their stinky litter box. (the scent in their litter irritates my allergies so I've been exiled from my own studio). Then I had a light-bulb moment. Love gave me 5 free yoga lessons he had won at his holiday party for work! yea! We are also planning on hitting the spa for massages (and a body wrap for me) soon.
I'm just waiting for the store audit to be done. Once that is over with, we can relax a little. The constant state of readiness for her impending visit is making us all crazy. And Monday corporate (bastards!) sent the map of my department change. My ENTIRE department is shifting around and in the most asinine way ever. There is no easy way to do the shift. It requires me to pull out entire sections to move everything else. That will all be done on overnights. I've asked to. There is no way I can do that with customers and employees bothering me every two minutes. Plus that way I can have my cd player with me. Korn, System of a Down, NIN and Pink Floyd can get me through this.
I slept in again today, but its not quite as big a deal. Today is my day to do what I want. I was thinking of some sewing and I have to put my new pantry together. Love built me a pantry in the basement. Not quite where I would have put it, but its a much needed pantry. Now I can go into full scale canning and drying with somewhere to store it all.

Quiz fest

You Are Destined to Rule the World

You have the makings of a very evil dictator... Which is both kind of cool and kind of scary! Will you rule the world? Maybe. Maybe not. But at least you know that you could.

Are You Destined For World Domination?

You Are 83% Burned Out

You are extremely burned out. You work too hard, and you're not getting the results you deserve. It's time for a life change, as soon as you can manage it. You're giving away most of your energy to something you don't even enjoy.

Are You Burned Out?

You know the Bible 95%!

Wow! You are awesome! You are a true Biblical scholar, not just a hearer but a personal reader! The books, the characters, the events, the verses - you know it all! You are fantastic!

Ultimate Bible Quiz
Create MySpace Quizzes

Better

I'm doing a bite better now. I went off to the theatre to finish the job, which entails discarding the show paint, painting the stage floor black and putting away the tools for the season. I realized that it took me a full month to go back and do this. Some shows are like that...when I walk away I want nothing to do with it again. I've had sets that I wouldn't walk through the stage area because the process had been so unpleasant.

While I was still grimy from that I vacuumed the house and mopped any floor that wasn't wood. This year's spring cleaning will include pulling out everything and giving the whole house a good mopping (probably by hand) but I'm not quite ready for that yet. After lunch (yes I ate) and a deliciously long shower I ventured out to the library. I made out well this time. The knitting book I've been waiting for came in. I also borrowed books on finance, Judy Chicago, the Mona Lisa and two movies. I have to run out for a bit tonight but mostly it will be about relaxing. Now I have to decide exactly what I'm in the mood to cook for dinner.

Daylight savings...

Can I just state for the record that I HATE daylight savings. I feel like the only one, too. I have a rather rigid body clock that has certain demands. Switching back and forth from day to night shifts messes me up. So do overnights (more on that later) unless they are consistent. Just one here or there really screws me up. And the daylight savings wreaks its own havoc. Especially since we can't get the cats to understand the whole concept. Maybe if they would just learn American (that's right I speak American, not English. The British speak English. We used to but then massacred it into our own language) then we could clear up a lot of issues. Things like not eating stuff off the floor, and why sitting on my bladder at 4am isn't ideal.

I'm rambling on about this because I woke up at 10am today. That was about the time I wanted to be getting home from my errand. Apparently my body hasn't adjusted yet and I really needed some down time. My body and I are having some issues at the moment. I am so stressed from work that I am clenching my jaw all the time. Not good for the TmJ. Yes, I have a night guard and yes, i use it every night. I am clenching all. day. long. Even on my days off. Last time it was this bad I was getting married and dealing with all of our families. My shoulders are in a perpetual state of hunched tension. As I drove to work yesterday they kept getting tighter and tighter and all I wanted was a clove cigarette. I've also started skipping meals again. Thanks to the food poisoning and the all nighter, I was in prime form for this to start again. And so it has.

Enough whining. I'm off to finish the theatre mess and then home for something I want to do.

A wonderful Saturday...

Yesterday I had a date with the girls. We took a little road trip up to North Hampton and did some shopping. I think we spent about 3 hours in Webs. Audrey graciously drove and I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who drives like that! Audrey had been there before, but the rest of us were Webs-virgins. If only losing my other virginity had been this fun! I actually lost my breath at one point. I could lose so much money there. Luckily, I was armed with some gift certificates and my birthday money...of which none remains.

Me, Rachel, Peggy, Audrey, and Karen

This is us after we did our damage. . Notice my two bags. Yeah, I was bad. From there we (except Rachel...she had family obligations) headed into downtown North Hampton. We stopped at another little yarn shop there, North Hampton Wools. It was a bit crowded and we were yarned out at the time. Then it was off to dinner at a lovely little pub, Packard's. It was hard to choose what to order (i could have had one of everything) but the choice I made was delicious (a burger with mushrooms and blue cheese, spicy fries and 2 Guinness) . And before we left all together we hit the Chocolate Emporium for coffee and confections.

my stash expansion

This is what I made off with. Some Rowan Big Wool, Borroco Foliage, RY CashSoft Aran, Elsebeth Lavold SilkyWool, dpns in 00, 1, and 2 (2 sets each to make socks at the same time) and Elsebeth Lavold Designer's Choice: The Second Viking Knits Collection. I know I'm suppose to be stash busting but all the yarn has a dedicated project and the needles and the book will help eliminate existing stash.

Not a bad haul if I do say so myself. The rest of the evening ended quite well with some 'quality time' with love and myself. If only every day could go so well.

I must be off...love wants the computer...I think he's having City of Heroes withdrawal. (he teamed up with my little brother the other night...the kid got him killed at least 8 times!)

Not a surprise

You Are Animal

A complete lunatic, you're operating on 100% animal instincts. You thrive on uncontrolled energy, and you're downright scary. But you sure can beat a good drum. "Kill! Kill!"

The Muppet Personality Test

How do I fit all this on my nametag???

You Are 76% Misanthropic

Here's the truth: Most people suck. You are just lucky enough to know it. You're not ready to go live alone in a cave - but you're getting there.

How Misanthropic Are You?

You know its been a craptacular night at work when...

you come home and just pour the tonic right into the bottle of gin.

Bookworm list...

I got this from Roxtarchicknits.

In the list of books below, bold the ones you’ve read, italicize the ones you want to read, cross out the ones you won’t touch with a ten-foot pole, put a cross (+) in front of the ones on your book shelf, and asterisk (*) the ones you’ve never heard of.

1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)
2. +Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
3. +To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
5. +The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)
6. +The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
7. +The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L. M. Montgomery)
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
10. *A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. +Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)
12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13. +Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. *A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. +Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
16. +Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (Rowling)
17. Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King)
19. +Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban(Rowling)
20. +Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
21. +The Hobbit (Tolkien)
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J. D. Salinger)
23. +Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
24. *The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. *Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. +The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
27. +Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
28. +The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. +Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
33. *Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34. ++++1984 (Orwell) (we own 4 copies)
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. *The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. *The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. *The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. *The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. +Bible (what Catholic school forced me to read, anyway)
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
50. +She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. *The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. *The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. +Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. The Time Traveler’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
62. *The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)
64. +Interview with the Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. *Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. +Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. +The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. The World According To Garp (John Irving)
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. +Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)
81. *Not Wanted On the Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)
83. +Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. *Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. +Emma (Jane Austen)
86. Watership Down (Richard Adams)
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. *The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. *Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. *Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. *In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. +Lord of the Flies (Golding)
93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
94. *The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S. E. Hinton)
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce)

I have to add
101. My Sister's Keeper (Jodi Picoult)

Flirty Ruffles Unblocked

Well I have slept and woke to find that it wasn't a dream. The shawl is done. All that remains is the blocking. Speaking of remains here is what remains of the original version. Enough for a small shoulder shawl. I toyed with the idea of adding a border and keeping it for myself. Then I thought better of that so I frogged it and ended up with this ball. I have plan for this, but that will wait for a while. I'm not exactly keen on knitting with this any time soon. Not that I didn't like the yarn. Its quite lovely and I can't wait to try dying some...just not right now.


Here it is in its unblocked glory. Current measurements are as such. Width along top 63" with ruffles, 57"without. Height is 30" without ruffles and 32.5" with. Now I have to procure some blocking wires. Last time I borrowed Karen's . Now that I know what they look like I'm going to purchase some of my own design. Really all they are is stiff, small diameter rod. I just need to make sure they are something that won't tarnish or rust. I need to take over the bed as well. Hopefully that can all be done this weekend.

Its a relief to be done. I've learned a lot from this project. I actually feel strange today...almost hung over. But knitting from 6pm till 1am will do that to a person.The big question is ...what do I knit at stitch and bitch tonight???

A long time ago...

i started a shawl. And now it is done.

I chose Star Wars mainly to settle a debate concerning John Williams...but that's for later. The last row took all of Episode 4: A New Hope. Binding off took both The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. Here is a pic of the last stitch with Darth Vader on his pyre. Quite fitting, don't you think?

Now I am off to bed.

At the threshold...

Tonight could be the night. I did two rows last night lasting through Mystery Men, Heroes, and my new love, The Black Donnellys. I should be able to do the last row and bind off tonight. I say should, because I don't want to jinx myself. My big question is...what shall I watch. I'm considering the original Star Wars trilogy. I've overloaded Dark Shadows lately. Maybe the two Underworld movies since Evolution just magically appeared the other day.(love has a DVD buying addiction. I mentioned we didn't have it. and it magically appeared) and then I could decide if this will be my next hair cut (with some color changes, of course). Or I'll just eenie-meenie-minee-mo my DVD rack.

I'll have pics and everything...wish me luck.

Bloody Exhausted

I'm beat. I had to open the store today...and again tomorrow. It will be a miracle if I make it through this week. Work is just a jumble of stress right now and if I don't stop clenching my jaw its going to fuse shut.

This blob is the shawl that has become my knitting monogamy. I would think love is getting slightly jealous, if the time I've devoted to this hasn't given him so much play time for City of Heroes. (I'm not exactly fond of the game. It interferes with me getting sex.) Anywho, back to the shawl, I've got 4 rows (8940 stitches) of garter boarder and the bind-off row (2235) remaining. It takes about 2 hours to do a row. So I'm looking at about 9 hours left. I toyed with leaving out two rows of the ruffles but decided against it. This is my big challenge and that would be cheating. Sometimes the competitive Capricorn Goat rears its head and makes me impossibly stubborn and driven to perfection.

Simple Math I Should Know By Now

Grocery shopping + Noon Saturday + Migraine = BAD

17,880

Got another row done this morning.

Love and I both have the morning off. He had to be in at 11. I'm due in at 2pm. We went out to breakfast and now Denny's is on the list. Our waitress was an idiot. We asked for juice and coffee. Juice came, no coffee. We wait...and wait. She takes our orders (didn't write them down) and repeat the request for coffee. He gets coffee, I get none. Fine I probably shouldn't have any anyway but half my breakfast didn't show either. I ordered (what I had been craving for days) French toast platter (which comes with bacon and sausage) and a side of hash browns. Got the French toast, got the hash browns, no meat. But charged for the breakfast meat. Again probably don't need it in my system, but I shouldn't have to pay for it either. And love didn't dispute the bill, he just paid it. Idiot waitress at Denny's, you are on the list. Just wait until I get out of assassin school.

20,115

That's how many stitches remain on the Flirty Ruffles Shawl. I'm beginning to think I am cursed until the damn thing is done. I managed to get two rows done tonight. That doesn't seem like much until you realize there is 2,235 stitches per row. I went to SnB with nothing else to make sure I work on it. 8 more row plus the bind off....let's see if I can get this ruffly monkey off my back.

I should be off to bed now. I don't think the gin and tonic was the best way to settle my stomach.

Productive of sorts

Sorry I've been quiet for so long. Its been a little nuts. Work has been busy. I've not been getting as much done as I would like. Some days its like running through porridge. The other morning the opening manager couldn't get out of their driveway because of the snow and called me to go open the store. Unfortunately I was still naked at the time and said it would be a little while. That just threw me off for the rest of the day. Its been nothing but Mondays in that building for a while.

I have been far more productive here at home. (when I'm not coming home dead tired). I finally finished a project for a friend of mine. She asked me to paint these little table and chairs for her grandchildren, design totally up to me. I obsessed over how to do it and ran through about 40 different and elaborate ideas until I settled on this. Simple but cute. The pattern is from some fabric I adore. I plan to use it on my walls somewhere in the house. I'm all but done with these. I just need to find a space to spray lacquer them. Its too cold in the garage and I'm afraid of the flammability factor in the basement. I'm a fireman's daughter and Dad would kick my ass if I blew up the house. I finished these while watching a Dark Shadows marathon of my own making. I'm almost done with Collection 2.

I've done some knitting but can't show it. Gifts. I know I'm suppose to be doing some selfish knitting but I'm struggling where to begin on that front. I had so much more to say but have forgotten most of it. I'm a bit spacey today. Toodles.

Chaotic Meanderings Of A Wannabe Dreamer

How fitting when a random generator hits the nail on the head. Today's title has been brought to you by the Blog Title Generator. The only thing closer would be the Chaotic Meanderings of a Premenstrual Migraine Ravaged Bitch Queen. Yes, today is not going so well. I started spotting yesterday and I have the migraine this morning. Apparently no baby for us. Plus I didn't sleep very well last night because of work. I either stressed about work or had work related dreams. Man that pisses me off. I had such a wonderful several days off...the first day back in a row of five and I'm already a ball of stress, clenching my jaw and tight little shoulders. Bah, screw them.

Being that this wonderful time of month is imminent for me, I want to pass on some sisterly advice. I haven't bought a pad or tampon in over 3 years! Yep. Not a single one. I use a menstrual cup and they are the best things ever. BEST. THINGS. EVER!!! Personally I use the Diva cup but here is also the Keeper and the Moon cup. Check out the links. I will say I have horrible painful and heavy periods...or rather I did. It hasn't cured them completely but they are shorter and lighter. And the best part is that my chronic girly infections (UTI's and yeast) have stopped. I sound like an infomercial, don't I. Sorry but I can't help but feel the need to share this advice. I could go on and on about my feelings about how menstruation is portrayed and we are taken advantage of by the "feminine product" industry, but I won't. I'll spare you that. Here's a great book on it though, aptly titled The Curse. Here is also a fabulous essay by Gloria Steinem that I first read in college: If Men Could Menstruate. It really makes you think, then it really pisses you off. I think I'm in angry feminist mode today. Must be the subscription to BUST that Obsidian Kitten got me. (btw, got my first issue, love it!)

Anywho I also make my own pads. . This is where I got the idea. I've altered their instructions a bit. I've ditched the whole terry cloth idea and make mine all out of flannel. I'm mostly telling you all this because I'm about to make a new batch and I so have to show off the fabric. I couldn't resist this fabric. I may go back and buy more to make some jammies. I know it is pink but it balances that out with Princess Leia armed with one hell of a blaster. Here are the other two fabrics I have used in the past. The ones with the cats say "glamour puss". They are so comfortable and it helps when you feel crap and are leaking like a sieve to know you are armed with Princess Leia packing a blaster or Glamour Puss gear. I'm planning on some leopard print but I am having trouble finding that in flannel. If you make your own just remember to buy regular 100% cotton flannel. NOT the stuff that is flame proofed for kids pajamas. We are trying to have less chemicals in our system. Not more.

I'm sure this whole post seems bizarre and messed up. You can can just chalk it up to being hormonal with a migraine on a lack of sleep if you like. Or just realize the freak in me is starting to show through.

Knits at noon

Good god how did it get to be noon already?!?!?

I do have some knitting to show. I finished the baby hat and booties as well as the blanket for our friends baby.

The hat and socks are from Debbie Bliss The Baby Knits Book and are done in Debbie Bliss Merino DK. I ran out of blue and had to frog the whole hat to cannibalize the earflaps to finish the socks. I knit the hat in the round as opposed to flat as the pattern is written. Why do seams when you don't need to? I also added a row of crochet around the edge of the hat to tighten it up.

The blanket had more adventure as well. Once again I ran out of the blue. But this time it was mystery yarn. All I know is that it was a kitchen cotton but couldn't find anything to match. I had intended for 5 rows of squares. Then I planned on the border with a verigated but nothing matched that blue. So I did a seed stitch border in the cream. That I know is Lily Sugar 'n Cream.

I have a few WIPs to finish but I am looking for my next project which has to be a selfish one. Hrm...what to knit. I'm always at such a loss when I finish a project. I sort of flounder around looking through my books and magazines until I get my needles going again. I'm often like that at the end of a show as well. Not sure what to do with all of my free time. I am making an effort to finish all ongoing projects around the house by April 1st. I have several furniture projects cluttering up the basement.

Bah!

The new yarn store near me is closed on Sunday's. Doesn't that figure. I'm also on the hunt for a pattern for my skein of Lorna's Laces sportweight. The intended pattern calls for worsted. So the hunt is on.

I've changed my colors again. These are much better. More icy, like outside.

Cooking and colors

As you can tell, I've been playing with my template. I'm not happy with the colors. I still want to create a three column template and I wouldn't mind a patterned background. I just need to figure out how the heck to do all that. In the meantime these lovely jars of my home canned goods have become sauce. My domestic superpowers continue unchecked as I made a pot of meatballs and used the extra ground meat to prepare a meatloaf to cook tomorrow night. I even wore an apron! What is going on here?!?...(and no Jenny I didn't weave in the ends as I went. I did on the black and red one though.) And my mother would be proud to know I was listening to my goomba cd while cooking all of this...all that was missing was some guys sitting around talking about whacking someone.

Ah Freedom

Sorry about the freakout on the last post. Its been a stressful week. Monday/Tuesday kinda went like this

7am: get up and go to work at store
6pm: get out of work head home and have dinner
7:30ish -9pm: lay down and try to get some rest
9:30pm- arrive at theatre and start painting
8am-finish painting and leave theatre
10am- fall into bed
1:30pm- get up
2pm- shower and get dressed
3pm- have your employee call out for the following day due to the impending snowstorm then your boss call and tell you the auditor is coming tomorrow and you need to be to work at 7 am.

yeah , it sucked... and worse yet. After driving to work in a snow/ice storm she never came!!! we did about $600 the whole day and they closed the store at 6pm. She's suppose to be there today and I am off today. Completely off. No theatre, no store, no driving to another state, no going to the hospital to have them shove stuff in me. Off and home alone with the kitties.

*sigh*

I may even scrub out the tub and take a bath with the lovely lavender stuff from Obsidian Kitten. Until then I'm in cooking mode. I'm making homemade sauce and meatballs and stuffed shells. I'm in a goomba mood today. So come on over and bring your knitting. Its all about good food, warm fires and relaxing.

ahhhhhhhhhhh

i just got a call that we will be (almost definitely) getting the auditor in the store tomorrow. damn damn damn. I'm there first thing in the morning. And my other full time person isn't going to be coming in due to the snow. Double damn. Can I just fast forward to Friday and skip all this???? Please!!! How come I never miss the auditor?

And now I have to be in an hour and half early.

Hey, guess what

Today is my little blog is 1 year old. Awww isn't it cute. Looking back I find that I haven't posted as much as I would have liked. I also need to be taking far more pictures. Those are goals for this year. I'm also going to whipping out a new look soon.


Just for fun, here is me on my first birthday. (look at all that hair! and all that pink!!) I love the demon-baby red eyes as well.

Today l learned...

that soy milk can get lumpy just like regular milk.

two more days...

just two more days to get the set done....

4 more until I have a true day off!

Domestic phase

I'm experiencing this weird domestic goddess phase. I decided to take last night off from painting since I was an hour late getting out of work and completely exhausted. I figured on a restful evening and an early start today. So I stayed home and did dishes (many that had been sitting there for a while), three loads of laundry (I even mended my love's torn clothing that I found when folding it!), unpacked the maternity clothing my sister-in-law gave me (she's cleaning out all that stuff and sent it in case I ever want it) and repacked it in a plastic bin, packed up the leftover's for love's lunch today and knit 2 squares of a new baby blanket. *whew* We never did manage to get to bed early, though I slept very well *wink, wink, nudge, nudge, know what I mean, know what I mean*

Today I was up fairly early and had a very productive morning painting before they had rehearsal. And I kept up on dishes. I also nearly made some bread but realized I didn't have time for it to rise. Its only a 5 hour break between painting shifts. I could have done much this afternoon, but decided to take it easy and knit while watching The Man in the Iron Mask. I'm just working on a baby blanket to go with the hat and booties. These are out of some random kitchen cotton (the natural I know is Sugar and Cream, the blue I have no clue). Isis grudgingly agreed to help model.

I'm starting to realize that I can stop and take some time for myself and don't have to be on the go constantly. It's a start. Well I must be off to eat before I start flinging paint again. Ciao.

Quasi-alive

Thanks everyone! I am feeling much better today. Not quite the way i want to lose weight though. And it put me a day and a half behind on painting. That's where I was for the last 13-1/2 hours. Lots of progress made but still very behind. The whole sick thing also has another negative aspect. I am a recovering anorexic/bulimic and the not eating for 2 days with lots of vomiting thrown in doesn't quite help in the recovery. I did eat some today. Not as much as I probably should have. But its a start. I'm a little scared to. Just like since the (stupid) traffic ticket I'm paranoid and think every car around me is a cop, I now think every food is potential poison. Or maybe my love was checking out my life insurance policies again. Hrm....

I did manage some knitting during my couch time yesterday. I finished the baby hat. Pictures as soon as it is blocked because right now it looks like its for a mutant baby.

ugh

apparently i'm dealing with a bout of food poisoning. I vomited from about 5pm last night until 8:30 this morning. I really should be painting but can't do much beyond lying on the couch. I'm slowly trying to reintroduce stuff into my stomach. The tea seems to be staying down and I may try soup shortly. What really sucks is having to take care of myself when I'm sick.

I hope all of you are well.

Thank you

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and words. In the end he didn't go with me. The procedure was *quite* uncomfortable. Without going into too much detail I have rather tiny anatomy. And when you try to put all those instruments in me, its not fun. I thought I would cry when the radiologist asked me to turn on my side. I felt like hell the rest of the day. Love did come home at lunch to see me, before I headed off to a hellish night at work. I won't find out any results until the end of March.

Yesterday went well. 13 hours of muslin covering and painting the set. I came home early today because I once again feel horrible. I wish I would just throw up so I can go to sleep. I wish my love were here to take care of me. He's away visiting his mum for her birthday and won't be back until Monday. (I stayed behind due to all the painting work to be done.)

I'm gonna crash on the couch for a while.

fiasco

That is what life is becoming.One big friggin fiasco

Here's the knitting fiasco since I promised some knitting. I started this project as gift for a friends new baby. I made a earflap hat in blue with a grey topknot. Then I made the sox and I was about a yard short of blue to finish the sox. *sigh* so I ripped out the hat, used one of the ear flaps to finish the sox and now restarting the hat with grey earflaps and topknot with blue body. Annoying to say the least. It is the cutest hat from a Debbie Bliss book. The kid in the picture wearing the hat is just adorable.

Work is a huge fiasco that I just can't talk about. That's one thing that sucks about being manager. Knowing all this major information but not being able to discuss it and pretending that impending doom isn't on its way. So glad I won't be there for 4 days, especially since it will all hit the fan on day one of my weekend off.

But not a real weekend off. I'll be painting like a madwoman. That is if the damn set gets built. Hire help they say. Why, NOTHING IS BUILT YET!!!!! Are we suppose to paint the air and just smack the scenery into it when its built! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! Yes folks this is my chosen career. I still like it better than retail.

Tomorrow is my test at the hospital. I'm having a HSG done. I'm still freaked out. Actually my freaking out has nothing to do with the results. I've thought very little about the results. I'm irrationally worried about the test. Maybe because the last time I spent time in the hospital it was just a wee bit stressful. I had also hoped the test would be on a day off so I could pamper myself after. Nope...gotta close the store that night. My love and I have been 'discussing' if he will accompany me or not. He asked if I "needed" him for it. I replied "physically not really, emotionally most likely, but it was up to him" which is woman-speak for "yes you idiot I want you there, but since you obviously don't want to go, I won't straight out ask you to come. " Hopefully he's been studying his woman-speak dictionary. I think the reason I'm unable to ask him because my fear of the whole thing IS irrational and I'll just feel guilty if he takes time off and the whole thing is no big deal.
AHHH! I just read the side of the bottle on the antibiotic I have to take tonight before the test. "do not lie down for at least 30 minutes after taking this medication" Damn damn damn...i just wanna go to bed. *pout pout*

*sigh* I guess I'll go kill some time on QDB...at least I'll feel smarter.

Purple

Dark Purple

To others, you seem a bit dark, mysterious, and moody. In truth, you are just a very unique person who doesn't care what others think. And you really enjoy your offbeat interests and friends. You've decided that life is about living for yourself - simple as that.

What Color Purple Are You?

I don't think this will surprise anyone.

busy bee

I know I said I would post pictures and I will. Just been crazy busy between the two jobs and all the doctor's appointments. There will be a real post soon. I promise.

Found and bled dry

Well, we did find it. Apparently I put it on the corkboard in the office so I wouldn't lose it. That sums me up quite well. I do something to try and prevent a specific action and that is exactly what happens. It was found and I went and had my blood drawn. Thursday is the test that really has me on edge for reasons I cannot explain. Its a simple procedure where they flood the uterus and fallopian tubes with dye and take a x-rays to see how things look in there. I'm really freaking out about it and I don't know why. What makes it worse is that I can't have sex between now and then. They might as well tell me not to eat in that time period. Actually I think I could manage that better. Not that you really want to know any of this, but I'm not deleting.

There will be knitting pics later. I've been painting this morning and really need to shower before I touch anything.

I would lose my friggin head

But until that happens I seem to have lost my paperwork for all my in/fertility testing. Maybe this is a sign. Or maybe one of us threw it out. who the hell knows...or gnomes. Its stressing me since the blood work has to be done tomorrow. I have the paperwork for his test (and the sterile cup) but not the lab papers for either of mine.

and it is damn ass cold. too cold to do anything but cocoon myself in the down comforter. ugh.

Morning

I am slightly irritated this morning. I got up early on my day off to take love to pick up the truck from the mechanic. (Finally the damn truck is fixed!!!!) Then I headed off to the high school. I had planned to squeeze a few hours of work in despite it being a longer rehearsal day. Usually they start at 3...today its 1. I get there and they didn't lay out the flats as I had kindly requested. No I am in no way squeamish about moving heavy objects, these suckers are 12.5 feet tall double sided MDF faced (read really friggin heavy). So no painting this morning. Which puts me further behind. I'm getting a little fed up here. I have no shop. I paint where they have class and rehearsal and the damn shows keep getting bigger and bigger. Something has to give.

So now I am home with a pot of Russian tea, the laundry going and the day to myself. I think I'll clean the house until my jeans are clean and dry then head out. I'm thinking Goodwill (i need clothes) and the library. Perhaps I'll make my hair appointment at the Angry Chair. I need to do something with it soon, or I'll take scissors or a razor to it myself. I just don't know what to do with it. I didn't have a plan for it past my friends wedding back in July.

The State of the Union

So the state of the union address is tonight. I am not going to go into my politics here (though I'm sure you can guess some of them) Frankly I don't trust any of them. I have a slight (i'm sure love would argue with the word slight) tendency to be a little conspiratorial. But just because I am paranoid doesn't mean I don't have reason to be. So I always make a point of listening or watching it. And then I end up yelling a whole lot. More than I do at hockey.*gasp* Sometimes we make a drinking game of it (when watched on TV) Pick a word or two and when he says it, drink. One year love picked "weapons of mass destruction" and I drank every time the man smirked. Boy, did we get smashed that night. So have fun and remember...

Its here...

I realized a moment ago that I hadn't seen Loki for a bit. I've been up and down doing laundry and she has a bad habit of getting locked in the basement. Nope...I was getting worried until I saw this:




Its official people (despite a lack of snow) WINTER IS HERE!

Knee sox

So I went a little crazy at Target last night. They had knee socks on clearance. I LOVE knee socks and they have become difficult to find. I've not yet knit some but that's on the selfish knitting list. And I was thrilled to find socks with something other than fluffy kitties or other froofroo themes.

The sock monkey socks cracked me up so I overlooked my usual pink ban. Actually the color has been growing on me lately. I have developed a slight interest in scrapbooking too. I'm either pregnant or have developed some new girly mental illness.

Weird

Weird things about me. I'm not sure where I saw this first (or last) but its worth a shot.

1. I cannot sleep with the closet door open. In fact I make my husband sleep on the side of the bed next to the closet. I guessing this stems from seeing Poltergeist at a very young age. Let him get sucked into the netherworld. His screams will wake me and give me a chance to get away. :) And when the bedroom upstairs finally gets done, we are switching sides of the bed so he is again closest to the closet.
   
2. When punching in a time on the microwave I refuse to use round numbers. No 1 minute 30 seconds here...its 1:48 or 1:23. Why should these numbers suffer because they aren't easy math?
3. I drink pickle brine (from kosher garlic dills) and I love it.
4. I have no nails on my pinkie toes. They were removed for medical reasons.
5. I can fall off a ladder, hit the wall I am painting, hit the ladder again, hit the wall again and hit the floor all without spilling a drop of paint from the container in my hand.
6. I can identify most brands of paint and polyurethane by smell alone.
7. I will often skip, rather than walk, from point A to point B. Even at work.
   

Actual knitting

I promised some knitting pictures today and here they are:

The bag was a holiday gift for one of my employees. She s Loves pink. I'm still having a few issues with the piping on these bags. I will try an attached i-cord next time. I was rushing to get this done in time so i didn't really have time to work it out. I typically do these out of Cascade 220 but this time I used Patons Classic Wool. Very different texture. The Cascade tends to felt in a rather smooth finish, this was kinda nubby. Not a bad thing, just unexpected. It reminded me of boucle fabric, especially with the pink and black, I thought 'Chanel suit'. This experience makes me want to gather all kinds of yarn and felt swatches to have a sample book for reference. I did love the texture for these bags. Though it did take longer to felt it. However here is picture of my nifty drying method for felting. All it requires is a stool, a floor vent and a wooden spoon. Rather efficient and it confuses the cats.

This is the black and red miter square blanket that was in my hands much of my time at the hospital with my Dad. This is done in Lionbrand Homespun. As soon as I saw their new colors I knew I would be doing this blanket. It needs a little blocking before its truly finished.

I have a few more projects before I start my selfish knitting. I plan on starting my me projects in February.

Why?

Why as an adult do I need to write my name on my food in my own fridge???

Before I went away I bought a box of ice cream sandwiches. I've been craving them like crazy. Love asked if he could have one, my reply was the usual when I buy a food I am craving. Help yourself but don't eat it all. Fast forward to my return, an evening after a long day at work (read auditor showed up on first day back) and love asks if he can get me anything. "ice cream sandwich" he shies away and mumbles something. The rat bastard ate them all on me! So today I bought two boxes...one for me and one for him. I will track how many are in my box and beware if any are missing. grrrrrr

on a totally different note my avatar's costume change is in honor of us watching firefly. My love got it for Christmas. I almost forgot how much I loved that show. Damn them for canceling it!. mmmmmm.....Joss Whedon is my master now.

oh yeah...knitting pics tomorrow

Happy Birthday to me....

I live in a...tree???

Happy Birthday Elvis, David Bowie, Steven Hawkin, and ME!

Yes it is my birthday and I'm 30. My mother didn't even know how old I was this year! The celebration aspect has been somewhat delayed due to Dad's surgery and such. We had a meeting tonight at 6pm so that kills most dinner plans and I'm not drinking right now so the bar would be no fun.

Maybe I'll just pop on over to the Webs site and by myself a boatload of yarn....

Just about everyone else has done a New Year's list. Since its only a week later I kinda consider my birthday my own new year. So here's mine (I will add things periodically as I think of them):

• Learn to play chess (and checkers). yes i am the only freak on this planet above the age of 3 who doesn't know how to play checkers.
• Switch to a new and better GP.
  
• Get up to date with all doctors visits and medical stuff
• Knit at least 1 sweater, 1 shrug, 1 shawl and 1 bag for myself. And yes they should actually fit me.
  
• Exercise 3 times a week.
• Get back on track with a healthier diet
• More fruit/vegetables-less red meat
• More homemade-less convenience food
• More fiber-less things like dip and gravy

• Indulge my 4 year old self at least once a week
• Get my finances in order
• Have a body of artwork to show by next October

That's good for now, I think.

I'm back...

And my Daddy is doing great! He was out of the hospital in record time. I even have pictures of everything (but don't worry, I won't post them). He insisted on the pictures. Yes, much of my weirdness comes from him...but not all.

Thank you everyone for your prayers, thoughts and words of support. Now I can breathe a little.

Off again...

I'm heading off shortly to see my family for a week or so. Tomorrow is Dad's surgery and I'm not sure if I'll be able to post much.

I will be knitting however. Sitting around in a hospital full of nervous energy...I should get a fair amount done. Here's what I am bringing.

THE SHAWL...I'm still on the damn ruffles but it is almost done.
The black/red mitered blanket
The blue twin socks (nearly done)
a smattering of baby hats and booties.

My goal is to finish all this other stuff before I start on a run of selfish knitting. Yes, my vow for 2007 is to knit something for myself! probably with skulls on it. I have yet to knit myself a sweater...all I own made by my own needles are 3 pairs of socks and several scarves. I have a stack of patterns waiting in the wings and a stash in the hope chest (which love found the other day...now that it is cold enough for sweaters...oops) . I'll be 30 on Monday so my new year kinda starts then.

I'll try to update while I am gone. Happy knitting. (sorry if this was rambling...not quite focused at the moment)

What are the odds...

of twins?!?
This happened completely on accident. The yarn was balled without consideration of color. I merely pulled out an end and started knitting. Trust me I couldn't do this if I tried. The yarn is foliage by Berocco. It was bought intended for my feet, but now it will be on my mums.