inconclusively frustrating...

so it seems (love's test results didn't get to the doctor yet.) that it is 'unexplained infertility'. Depending on the results of his test, we are recommended to further testing with a specialist. So a lot of "who knows". The frustrating thing is that I'm sure the stress from work is the problem in this situation but I'm in a catch 22...I need to leave work to be able to conceive but I need the health insurance my job offers to have a baby. So I'm stuck.

And I feel like crap...I've had my period all weekend but now I'm very woozy and not walking straight (well less than normal) I'm gonna park it on the couch for the rest of the afternoon. The cats have the right idea.

conflicted of sorts

Tomorrow morning we go to the doctor to get the results of all the in/fertility testing. I've not thought much about it until this afternoon...and right now I'm not sure what I think at all.

A little bit of everything...

I've been trying to blog since I've gotten back but love has been hogging the computer...he's now level 20 and trying to earn his cape. *sigh* I love my geek-boy. So here's the ultimate update post...

• Florida was lovely excluding the getting there and getting back (see below). Grandpa is doing much better and it was so nice to spend time with them. They really made me feel part of the family, which is a feeling I rarely have with his family. Not that they intend to make me feel that way (or most of them don't) but it's a very different dynamic than my family and I feel very foreign in it. But the weather was horribly beautiful, horrible in that it gave me an intense desire to dig in the dirt and I came home to more snow and slush. Not quite gardening weather here.
  
• I have a new airline to add to the list of ones to avoid. US Airways. Leaving here it started to snow once we got to the airport, where we promptly headed to the bar. Boarded our plane on time...and then sat. and sat and sat. Apparently it took them so long to load our luggage that it became necessary for us to deice. For which there was a line, of course. We sat in that tin can for an hour or so before we took off. This cut into our hour layover in Charlotte. Our second flight was to leave at 9:40pm...we landed at 9:55...in a completely different concourse. So the two of us, and another poor soul from our flight, had to full out sprint from one concourse to another, me in clogs. About halfway there I started having an asthma attack. (not officially diagnosed with because my doctor is a putz) Normally I stop running when this starts...couldn't here. By the time we got to our plane I was on the verge of collapse while breathing hot coals. As soon as we got on they shut the door and off we went. On the return we flew to Philly no problem. As it was getting closer to boarding time for our connecting flight we noticed that there still was no plane...at any of the gates. It seems they were having a difficult time getting anywhere that day. The flight before ours (going the same way) had been canceled, which made ours overbooked. Our plane apparently was having issues so they had to go get another one out of the hanger for our flight. Upon return I had enough time to shower, change, eat and head off to close the store in what was my third week of the night shift from hell. *sigh* People wonder why I hate flying.
  
• While in Florida we did finally have our audit. We passed...barely...and we lost some points that we shouldn't have. Work still sucks and I'm losing my patience with it. I have a much shorter fuse while I am there, but then I shouldn't have to be telling them the same things for the last 5 months.
  
• Mr. Gothknits' birthday was quite nice. I took him out for a lovely dinner at one of our favorite restaurants and then to a movie. I am so glad we saw this in the theatre. It was stunning and beautiful and visually lyrical. I love to analyze comic book to movie transitions and I thoroughly enjoy the ones that really play with the comic book style. I won't ramble any further about this but...go see it.
  
• The shawl is done and photographed and wrapped...all I need to do is mail it .
  
• The rest of my "finish it" list goes like this...
• joining blanket squares- on the last one!
  
• mending pile-haven't touched it.
  
• sanding, staining, and sealing a dresser - waiting on love to finish repairs
  
• repairing my WonderWoman purse- might tackle tonight...not sure how to do it though.
  
• repairing my Mum's big black tote bag- once I'm done here.

It's spring and that always give me the urge to pull out the sewing machine (don't know why). I'm going to fix the tote and sew the Princess Leia pads. I might dig through the mending as well to see what there is. I know I need help with some of it. I might toss together a few more nine patch squares for the quilt that is destine for the Apple Room. I guess that's all for now. Pics of the shawl on another post. I want to get some sewing in before I make dinner...Feta and spinach stuffed Tilapia with sweet potatoes.

Happy Birthday My Love!

Back...

I'm back home...and totally pissed off from a mere 4.5 hours at work. Grandpa is doing better and I have some more travel horror stories for you...but after I get to sleep in my own bed.

Introducing someone new...

Congratulations Amy and Wayne!

FYI

Just giving a heads up. We're off on a short jaunt to Florida. Love's granddad isn't doing too well and he wants to see all of the family. I'm not likely to post while down there. Behave while I am gone and don't do anything that I would.


PS I did block the shawl...it looks lovely. Pics sometime soon

Home sweet home

I was sent home early from work due to the snow. At least it wasn't for setting fires or punching customers. I'm saving that for some other day.

My plan is to make chili, watch movies, join squares, drink whiskey sours, and tend the fire in the fireplace. I'll probably block the shawl too. I hope everyone is warm and happy.

Not so idle

I had every intention of blocking the shawl today before work. I found this on the blocking surface instead. I'll do it after work tonight when the prime sleeping spot is our bed.

I have been busy with projects since finishing the shawl. Most of my time has been doing housework...cleaning, filling the new pantry, cooking, grocery shopping. But in my restful periods have been occupied with my quest to complete existing projects. The shawl now finished (knitting part at least) and the table and chairs. Now on to the squares...

These squares were crocheted by Robyne's late Grandmother. This 95 year old woman was a crocheting machine. I've complete 5 blankets in the last week. I have 5 maybe 6 left in the pile you see. Loki is not too happy about this project because it takes up my lap. So she will sit on each blanket after it is done (or before) to let it know who is boss.

I've given myself until April 1st to finish these projects that have been hanging around for a while. The list also includes my mending pile, sanding, staining, and sealing a dresser (once my love has finished readying it), repairing my WonderWoman purse, repairing my Mum's big black tote bag and possibly something else I am forgetting.

Then on with the selfish knitting.

Memos from the Universe

Every now and then something happens and you just know the Universe is telling you something. I got one of those memos this afternoon. Doing laundry I discovered a new and disconcerting sound coming from my washing machine. Mind you the fridge and the washer are in a neck and neck race to the finish. Anywho...I stop the spin cycle and restart and the noise stops...until the next load. Then I grab the bras I pulled out to hang them to dry. One is missing its underwire. Now I know what the sound is. I find the wire just barely poking through one of the holes in the basin. Neither pleading, swearing or needle nose pliers could extract it. But they were able to push it in further. At least its not making the horrible noise anymore. I'm going to go make some cookies to soften the blow of this event to my love, which I will disclose right before I run out the door to Stitch n Bitch.

Oh yeah...Memo from the Universe: BUY NEW BRAS!

Lightbulb moment

Everyone mentions yoga. I would love to get back into it. I'm just lacking a good space to since my usual spot is overrun by freeloading kittens and their stinky litter box. (the scent in their litter irritates my allergies so I've been exiled from my own studio). Then I had a light-bulb moment. Love gave me 5 free yoga lessons he had won at his holiday party for work! yea! We are also planning on hitting the spa for massages (and a body wrap for me) soon.
I'm just waiting for the store audit to be done. Once that is over with, we can relax a little. The constant state of readiness for her impending visit is making us all crazy. And Monday corporate (bastards!) sent the map of my department change. My ENTIRE department is shifting around and in the most asinine way ever. There is no easy way to do the shift. It requires me to pull out entire sections to move everything else. That will all be done on overnights. I've asked to. There is no way I can do that with customers and employees bothering me every two minutes. Plus that way I can have my cd player with me. Korn, System of a Down, NIN and Pink Floyd can get me through this.
I slept in again today, but its not quite as big a deal. Today is my day to do what I want. I was thinking of some sewing and I have to put my new pantry together. Love built me a pantry in the basement. Not quite where I would have put it, but its a much needed pantry. Now I can go into full scale canning and drying with somewhere to store it all.

Quiz fest

You Are Destined to Rule the World

You have the makings of a very evil dictator... Which is both kind of cool and kind of scary! Will you rule the world? Maybe. Maybe not. But at least you know that you could.

Are You Destined For World Domination?

You Are 83% Burned Out

You are extremely burned out. You work too hard, and you're not getting the results you deserve. It's time for a life change, as soon as you can manage it. You're giving away most of your energy to something you don't even enjoy.

Are You Burned Out?

You know the Bible 95%!

Wow! You are awesome! You are a true Biblical scholar, not just a hearer but a personal reader! The books, the characters, the events, the verses - you know it all! You are fantastic!

Ultimate Bible Quiz
Create MySpace Quizzes

Better

I'm doing a bite better now. I went off to the theatre to finish the job, which entails discarding the show paint, painting the stage floor black and putting away the tools for the season. I realized that it took me a full month to go back and do this. Some shows are like that...when I walk away I want nothing to do with it again. I've had sets that I wouldn't walk through the stage area because the process had been so unpleasant.

While I was still grimy from that I vacuumed the house and mopped any floor that wasn't wood. This year's spring cleaning will include pulling out everything and giving the whole house a good mopping (probably by hand) but I'm not quite ready for that yet. After lunch (yes I ate) and a deliciously long shower I ventured out to the library. I made out well this time. The knitting book I've been waiting for came in. I also borrowed books on finance, Judy Chicago, the Mona Lisa and two movies. I have to run out for a bit tonight but mostly it will be about relaxing. Now I have to decide exactly what I'm in the mood to cook for dinner.

Daylight savings...

Can I just state for the record that I HATE daylight savings. I feel like the only one, too. I have a rather rigid body clock that has certain demands. Switching back and forth from day to night shifts messes me up. So do overnights (more on that later) unless they are consistent. Just one here or there really screws me up. And the daylight savings wreaks its own havoc. Especially since we can't get the cats to understand the whole concept. Maybe if they would just learn American (that's right I speak American, not English. The British speak English. We used to but then massacred it into our own language) then we could clear up a lot of issues. Things like not eating stuff off the floor, and why sitting on my bladder at 4am isn't ideal.

I'm rambling on about this because I woke up at 10am today. That was about the time I wanted to be getting home from my errand. Apparently my body hasn't adjusted yet and I really needed some down time. My body and I are having some issues at the moment. I am so stressed from work that I am clenching my jaw all the time. Not good for the TmJ. Yes, I have a night guard and yes, i use it every night. I am clenching all. day. long. Even on my days off. Last time it was this bad I was getting married and dealing with all of our families. My shoulders are in a perpetual state of hunched tension. As I drove to work yesterday they kept getting tighter and tighter and all I wanted was a clove cigarette. I've also started skipping meals again. Thanks to the food poisoning and the all nighter, I was in prime form for this to start again. And so it has.

Enough whining. I'm off to finish the theatre mess and then home for something I want to do.

A wonderful Saturday...

Yesterday I had a date with the girls. We took a little road trip up to North Hampton and did some shopping. I think we spent about 3 hours in Webs. Audrey graciously drove and I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who drives like that! Audrey had been there before, but the rest of us were Webs-virgins. If only losing my other virginity had been this fun! I actually lost my breath at one point. I could lose so much money there. Luckily, I was armed with some gift certificates and my birthday money...of which none remains.

Me, Rachel, Peggy, Audrey, and Karen

This is us after we did our damage. . Notice my two bags. Yeah, I was bad. From there we (except Rachel...she had family obligations) headed into downtown North Hampton. We stopped at another little yarn shop there, North Hampton Wools. It was a bit crowded and we were yarned out at the time. Then it was off to dinner at a lovely little pub, Packard's. It was hard to choose what to order (i could have had one of everything) but the choice I made was delicious (a burger with mushrooms and blue cheese, spicy fries and 2 Guinness) . And before we left all together we hit the Chocolate Emporium for coffee and confections.

my stash expansion

This is what I made off with. Some Rowan Big Wool, Borroco Foliage, RY CashSoft Aran, Elsebeth Lavold SilkyWool, dpns in 00, 1, and 2 (2 sets each to make socks at the same time) and Elsebeth Lavold Designer's Choice: The Second Viking Knits Collection. I know I'm suppose to be stash busting but all the yarn has a dedicated project and the needles and the book will help eliminate existing stash.

Not a bad haul if I do say so myself. The rest of the evening ended quite well with some 'quality time' with love and myself. If only every day could go so well.

I must be off...love wants the computer...I think he's having City of Heroes withdrawal. (he teamed up with my little brother the other night...the kid got him killed at least 8 times!)

Not a surprise

You Are Animal

A complete lunatic, you're operating on 100% animal instincts. You thrive on uncontrolled energy, and you're downright scary. But you sure can beat a good drum. "Kill! Kill!"

The Muppet Personality Test

How do I fit all this on my nametag???

You Are 76% Misanthropic

Here's the truth: Most people suck. You are just lucky enough to know it. You're not ready to go live alone in a cave - but you're getting there.

How Misanthropic Are You?

You know its been a craptacular night at work when...

you come home and just pour the tonic right into the bottle of gin.

Bookworm list...

I got this from Roxtarchicknits.

In the list of books below, bold the ones you’ve read, italicize the ones you want to read, cross out the ones you won’t touch with a ten-foot pole, put a cross (+) in front of the ones on your book shelf, and asterisk (*) the ones you’ve never heard of.

1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)
2. +Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
3. +To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
5. +The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)
6. +The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
7. +The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L. M. Montgomery)
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
10. *A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. +Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)
12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13. +Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. *A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. +Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
16. +Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (Rowling)
17. Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King)
19. +Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban(Rowling)
20. +Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
21. +The Hobbit (Tolkien)
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J. D. Salinger)
23. +Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
24. *The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. *Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. +The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
27. +Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
28. +The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. +Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
33. *Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34. ++++1984 (Orwell) (we own 4 copies)
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. *The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. *The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. *The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. *The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. +Bible (what Catholic school forced me to read, anyway)
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
50. +She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. *The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. *The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. +Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. The Time Traveler’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
62. *The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)
64. +Interview with the Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. *Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. +Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. +The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. The World According To Garp (John Irving)
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. +Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)
81. *Not Wanted On the Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)
83. +Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. *Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. +Emma (Jane Austen)
86. Watership Down (Richard Adams)
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. *The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. *Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. *Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. *In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. +Lord of the Flies (Golding)
93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
94. *The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S. E. Hinton)
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce)

I have to add
101. My Sister's Keeper (Jodi Picoult)

Flirty Ruffles Unblocked

Well I have slept and woke to find that it wasn't a dream. The shawl is done. All that remains is the blocking. Speaking of remains here is what remains of the original version. Enough for a small shoulder shawl. I toyed with the idea of adding a border and keeping it for myself. Then I thought better of that so I frogged it and ended up with this ball. I have plan for this, but that will wait for a while. I'm not exactly keen on knitting with this any time soon. Not that I didn't like the yarn. Its quite lovely and I can't wait to try dying some...just not right now.


Here it is in its unblocked glory. Current measurements are as such. Width along top 63" with ruffles, 57"without. Height is 30" without ruffles and 32.5" with. Now I have to procure some blocking wires. Last time I borrowed Karen's . Now that I know what they look like I'm going to purchase some of my own design. Really all they are is stiff, small diameter rod. I just need to make sure they are something that won't tarnish or rust. I need to take over the bed as well. Hopefully that can all be done this weekend.

Its a relief to be done. I've learned a lot from this project. I actually feel strange today...almost hung over. But knitting from 6pm till 1am will do that to a person.The big question is ...what do I knit at stitch and bitch tonight???

A long time ago...

i started a shawl. And now it is done.

I chose Star Wars mainly to settle a debate concerning John Williams...but that's for later. The last row took all of Episode 4: A New Hope. Binding off took both The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. Here is a pic of the last stitch with Darth Vader on his pyre. Quite fitting, don't you think?

Now I am off to bed.

At the threshold...

Tonight could be the night. I did two rows last night lasting through Mystery Men, Heroes, and my new love, The Black Donnellys. I should be able to do the last row and bind off tonight. I say should, because I don't want to jinx myself. My big question is...what shall I watch. I'm considering the original Star Wars trilogy. I've overloaded Dark Shadows lately. Maybe the two Underworld movies since Evolution just magically appeared the other day.(love has a DVD buying addiction. I mentioned we didn't have it. and it magically appeared) and then I could decide if this will be my next hair cut (with some color changes, of course). Or I'll just eenie-meenie-minee-mo my DVD rack.

I'll have pics and everything...wish me luck.

Bloody Exhausted

I'm beat. I had to open the store today...and again tomorrow. It will be a miracle if I make it through this week. Work is just a jumble of stress right now and if I don't stop clenching my jaw its going to fuse shut.

This blob is the shawl that has become my knitting monogamy. I would think love is getting slightly jealous, if the time I've devoted to this hasn't given him so much play time for City of Heroes. (I'm not exactly fond of the game. It interferes with me getting sex.) Anywho, back to the shawl, I've got 4 rows (8940 stitches) of garter boarder and the bind-off row (2235) remaining. It takes about 2 hours to do a row. So I'm looking at about 9 hours left. I toyed with leaving out two rows of the ruffles but decided against it. This is my big challenge and that would be cheating. Sometimes the competitive Capricorn Goat rears its head and makes me impossibly stubborn and driven to perfection.

Simple Math I Should Know By Now

Grocery shopping + Noon Saturday + Migraine = BAD

17,880

Got another row done this morning.

Love and I both have the morning off. He had to be in at 11. I'm due in at 2pm. We went out to breakfast and now Denny's is on the list. Our waitress was an idiot. We asked for juice and coffee. Juice came, no coffee. We wait...and wait. She takes our orders (didn't write them down) and repeat the request for coffee. He gets coffee, I get none. Fine I probably shouldn't have any anyway but half my breakfast didn't show either. I ordered (what I had been craving for days) French toast platter (which comes with bacon and sausage) and a side of hash browns. Got the French toast, got the hash browns, no meat. But charged for the breakfast meat. Again probably don't need it in my system, but I shouldn't have to pay for it either. And love didn't dispute the bill, he just paid it. Idiot waitress at Denny's, you are on the list. Just wait until I get out of assassin school.

20,115

That's how many stitches remain on the Flirty Ruffles Shawl. I'm beginning to think I am cursed until the damn thing is done. I managed to get two rows done tonight. That doesn't seem like much until you realize there is 2,235 stitches per row. I went to SnB with nothing else to make sure I work on it. 8 more row plus the bind off....let's see if I can get this ruffly monkey off my back.

I should be off to bed now. I don't think the gin and tonic was the best way to settle my stomach.